We had a question from Raul that said "How well do adopted kids transition emotionally?"
When it comes to adopted children and adding them to your family, it will always be a big change and adjustment for those kids. The have lived without any family for a long time so it may take them awhile to adjust to your family lifestyle.
In a study by Jeanette Cossar and Elsbeth Neil titled Making sense of siblings: connections and severances in post-adoption contact, they examined children in families who adopted. They said that step-sibling relationships can involve complicated dynamics, which are similar to those encountered in adoption, e.g. lacking a shared family history, experiencing shifts in sibling positions, roles and functions, abrupt changes in family size, and a loss of original families (Cossar and Neil 2012, page 69). When you add an adopted child to your already established family, it can affect both the adopted child and the children you already have. They are all going to go through some role changes and depending on how old the child is, it can make a shift in the sibling position, which can be hard for children to adjust to. So you need to make sure you are talking to your children before you bring that adopted child into your family and don't be afraid to seek counseling. It's perfectly normal for you to have someone for your children to talk to about all of the things they are going to be experiencing.
Cossar and Neil also go on to say in a sociological study of sibling relationships, Edwards examined how children themselves define sibling relationships and found a mixture of biological connection and social enactment. Sibling relationships involved care and closeness, rivalry and conflict. Whilst children did not feel that brothers and sisters needed to live together to be siblings, they thoughts it was important that they kept in contact (2012, page 69). I just found it interesting what the children had to say about sibling relationships. They said it involves care and closeness and rivalry and conflict. These kids understand that these adopted siblings will still be siblings and they will still have that rivalry and conflict that all siblings have. So even though it is a change for the children, it's interesting to see that no matter what, they still think about the whole situation like a normal kid would.
Taylor
Cossar, J., & Neil, E. (2012). Making sense of siblings: connections and severances in post-adoption contact. Child and Family Social Work, 67-76. Retrieved from http://web.b.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.lib.utah.edu/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=39f2b1bc-2159-45d2-9f58-a664a1cdb0b5@sessionmgr115&vid=2&hid=120
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The whole time I was reading this I was saying to myself....check...check....check....because it is all so true. I think kids are so much more resilient that we realize and sometimes we make a bigger deal of things than needed. That said the need for talking to them about change is so important and also to understand that they are okay to feel the way they do about things. I did not live with a lot of my siblings growing up but we have pretty decent relationships now and it comes down to staying in contact like you mentioned. Thanks for the link to the article - I plan to read more on this.
ReplyDeleteStacie Lawrence
I can't imagine how hard it would be to bring child from a completely background into your home where everyone in the family has established this sense of roles and comfortableness. It makes sense to talk about it before and get the family ready (as much as you can) and then hopefully, that would help both transitions for family and adopted child.
ReplyDelete-Amy Willes